As they approached Christchurch 1 runway, the tower heard:

PILOT - Bjeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is?

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy

PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus !

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy !!

PILOT - Right, Shamus, when I say 'go' put de engine in reverse !!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat !!

PILOT - An den ya put de flaps down !!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat, too !!

PILOT - An den stamp an de brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de Holy
Mudder a Gad !!!

CO-PILOT - I'm prayin already, but oi'll hit de brakes as hard as oi can.

So, as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in reverse, put
the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and continued to pray to the Holy
Mother with all his soul.

The brakes screeched, the tyres squealed, and there was smoke
everywhere, but, to the relief of all the passengers, and, not least of
all, Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to stop but a few meters from
the end of the runway!!!

As Paddy and Shamus sat in the cockpit regaining some composure, Paddy
looked out of the window and said to Shamus,

"Dat has gat ta be de shartist fookin runway in de world!"

Shamus replied, "Yes, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?"